Podcast De Ontwaakte Leider

How I was called to use my medicine

conscious relating energy medicine & healing

She was only 16, and I was 21 years old. I was working as a representative for a youth holiday company in Spain. She was a participant. One of her friends came to me for help one evening. "My friend Marjolein has awful nightmares. She was raped a couple of years ago. Everything comes back to her now. She's panicked. Can you do something?"

I had no idea. But I know now how unconsciously competent I was to hold space for this girl, despite my own young age. I offered her to spend the night in my little hotel room of 6m2. There was just enough space to put her mattress on the floor next to my single bed. And during three nights in a row her body was releasing the pain, fear, sadness and loss. Shaking, crying…

I just sat next to her. Being with her with all my heart. Sometimes holding her hand. During the day I would ask her if she needed me to do something when she was in this energy release during the night. She said no. And at the time I would not have known what to do anyway. But I trusted what was given to me. What I was asked to do, to ‘be’ for this girl. Knowing in the un-known that I had to hold space for her.


It deeply touches me recalling this. At the time I thought it was just a coincidence. She needed help and I was there. Marjolein wrote several letters to me after this holiday, for about a year. She visited many therapists after the rape, but could only start her recovery after this spontaneous healing with me on her side. This was so life changing for her. And for me. As it was to remember my healing nature and skills. To feel the magic in the room during the healing of something bigger taking place. Fate and spiritual guidance, I would say.

My shelter

It lasted another 7 years for me to feel safe enough to step out of my shelter. As it wasn't only this girl who needed healing. I did as well. At the age of 28 my awakening started after a sudden burn out. The journey into remembering who/what I am, began. At first yoga brought me back into the world of energy. And again from being unconsciously competent I saw myself moving with my hands around clients in one-on-one yoga sessions. Which would make them fall into tears or release deep tension.


I could no longer deny my gift. In the years after I dived deeply into sources of knowledge so my healing talent could mature. By developing my mediumship as a healer and understanding what I was doing by getting to understand my language of energy. But with all the knowledge and techniques that I 'know' now, it is still in the field of the 'unknown' where the real magic happens. Just like in that small room in Spain with Marjolein nearly 30 years ago. It is divinity itself awakening in us, collaborating with us what makes the shift happening. Way beyond our human brain capacity to 'understand' this.

Medicine of Love

Because of our limited conscious mind I work in all of my (group)sessions and programs, either live or in energy, in the subconscious field. Using sound vibrations, energetic healing and verbal guidance. In this way the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual bodies are all met at the same time. So the energy knows no other way than to reveal itself, to make itself conscious and to show it's truth. The condition for this to happen is a space of allowance, love and trust. To feel safe to come out of your shelter and allow healing to happen. It's my gift to hold space for this. And I give my medicine, with all of my heart, to the world.


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